Written as a comment on Facebook by Chris Vautour and shared with permission.
The media said it’s a terrorist attack first….true. However, now that we know he’s been on gay apps, attended gay clubs for at least 3 years…..well…..you know. Saying you’re a terrorist is a good cover for being unable to deal with the unbearable stress of being gay when your family and faith want to kill your true identity before you even have a chance to be who you are. He beat his women, terrorized his co-workers….maybe he was just a douche….but I think not. I think his terrorizing was an attempt to end his pain about his real identity. One that he could never enjoy because of religious ideology and the fear of being marginalized by his radical father who said that homosexuality must be punished by God.I faced this issue, I was disowned by my family. I have been threatened, yelled at, even punched in the face for just being me, a woman, a gay. It takes courage to be me every day as an out gay woman. Even in Vancouver, a liberal city in Canada. He obviously couldn’t take the pressure, the pain. Afraid to be attacked. So perhaps attacking others first before he could be found out. Of course this is speculation however, so many of us gays have been through this gauntlet of decisions. Decisions to be who we are in the face of losing our families, jobs, friends etc.Hopefully, gay will soon be a term of the past. These acronyms GLBTQ2 will just be written HUMAN……honestly, I can’t believe something so benign is so feared and despised. Honestly, isn’t this “issue” so irrelevant by now? Don’t we have rivers to clean, babies to raise, stars to visit, dinners to eat with love ones……another episode of The Bachelorette?
Moving toward the heart on this one…..one heart, a cliche because it’s true, a cliche within a cliche, fuck it, the ascended masters of the oldest spiritual practices on this earth have taught this for thousands of years. The strings of this matrix tighten around the planet every time we act selfishly and forget our place in the ecosystem. Do not hate this man for his acts, he was afraid. He was selfish. He needed a purpose in the ecosystem but failed to find it. Find the “middle way” with both extremes in each hand in order to move toward consciousness….